Virginia Area
Al-Anon Family Groups (AFG)
District 24: Southwest

Virginia Area Al-Anon
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Even If the Alcoholic Doesn’t Choose Recovery

My husband didn’t drink when we married, but somehow that all changed. I knew nothing about alcoholism, so I was in denial for many years. Beer led to wine, wine was accompanied by vodka, and then scotch was included. Fortunately, my husband was able to function and provide for his family. But I began to see my life becoming unmanageable. Every night he fell into bed zonked. He became someone I could not reason with, and he became threatening. I called my close friends and shared with them because I didn’t know where else to turn. Before I knew it, I was paying $350 an hour for a divorce lawyer. I didn’t want a divorce; I wanted to get him help.

We separated, and things got ugly. I began seeing a therapist, who guided me to Al‑Anon. I took my life back and made my own choices. In the end, my husband and I reconciled, and I chose not to divorce him. I hoped for the bright future my husband painted for us. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. However, with the help of Al‑Anon, I have tools, my marriage, and my sanity. I learned how to be happy despite my husband’s choices. I was no longer willing to play the part of a victim or a martyr. It’s been 30 years now. Although he does not participate in A.A., my husband has been sober for several years. More importantly, I’m where I choose to be. I take care of myself, making choices that work for me today. I have a peaceful life with friends who share my beliefs and program. I couldn’t ask for better. Al‑Anon’s wisdom, hope, understanding, and encouragement keep me from drowning in a sea of insanity.

By Jean C., Florida

Reprinted with permission of The Forum,
Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.,
Virginia Beach, VA
April 2020

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Virginia Area Al-Anon